


I'd Do It Again in a Heartbeat

by Sohotthateveryonedied



Series: Batfamily Bingo [10]
Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Brother Feels, Brotherly Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Major Character Injury, Prompt: In The Hospital, Protective Older Brothers, Self-Sacrifice, Stabbing, Tim Drake is Robin, dick takes a sword for tim, tim has feelings about it, tim has low self-worth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:34:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24952405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sohotthateveryonedied/pseuds/Sohotthateveryonedied
Summary: The heart monitor beats, steady and unchanging, keeping time with Dick’s pulse under Tim’s grip on his wrist. Tim hasn’t left yet—not since a few hours ago when Leslie finished operating and Dick was brought here to recover. Bruce went home to change into civvies, but Tim is persistent in his vigil at Dick’s bedside.The damage was severe, the blade slicing straight through Dick’s abdomen. It’s only thanks to pure luck that it didn’t hit anything vital, but Dick nearly died from the blood loss. Tim’s fault. All of this is Tim’s fault.
Relationships: Tim Drake & Dick Grayson
Series: Batfamily Bingo [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1792990
Comments: 12
Kudos: 304





	I'd Do It Again in a Heartbeat

**Author's Note:**

> Notactuallyatreefrog said: "dick + tim + in the hospital? hope you're well!!"

The heart monitor beats, steady and unchanging, keeping time with Dick’s pulse under Tim’s grip on his wrist. Tim hasn’t left yet—not since a few hours ago when Leslie finished operating and Dick was brought here to recover. Bruce went home to change into civvies, but Tim is persistent in his vigil at Dick’s bedside.    
  
The damage was severe, the blade slicing straight through Dick’s abdomen. It’s only thanks to pure luck that it didn’t hit anything vital, but Dick nearly died from the blood loss. Tim’s fault. All of this is Tim’s fault.    
  
_ Robin, look out!  _   
  
Tim closes his eyes, shame radiating through every bone in his body. He can’t stop hearing it.  _ Seeing  _ it. Feeling it.    
  
Dick’s panicked voice, telling Tim to turn around a second before it was too late. The sound of the blade plunging into Dick’s body, accompanied by a pained gasp. Dick, jumping in front of Tim to take the sword that was meant for  _ him.  _ Dick, falling backward into Tim’s stunned arms, blood already flowing from the wound and soaking the fabric of his Nightwing suit.    
  
And Tim, powerless to do anything but watch it happen and feel like his heart was breaking in two.    
  
Everything after that was a blur. Tim remembers Bruce making quick work of the assassin while Tim stayed with Dick, trying to keep the blood inside of him until help arrived. His terror battled it out with the disbelief in his head, trying to comprehend what happened, why Dick would do such a thing, why this was happening to them. Tim didn’t stop shaking until hours later when Leslie told them that Dick would be okay, and even then Tim wasn’t so sure that he was completely present in his body. Everything felt numb.    
  
“He’s okay,” Cass says, the first to speak since Tim first sat down in this uncomfortable plastic chair and gripped Dick’s hand like his life depended on it. Cass sits cross-legged at the foot of Dick’s hospital bed, sipping a hot chocolate, courtesy of Alfred. Tim still hasn’t touched his.   
  
“I know,” he says, not meeting her eyes.    
  
“You should...change.” She gestures with her chin to Tim’s bloodied uniform, bloodied hands, bloodied self. He’s absolutely covered in Dick’s blood.   
  
“I’m fine,” he says. Which isn’t correct in any way whatsoever, but he can’t find the energy to correct himself.    
  
Of course, Cass sees straight through the blatant lie. Sometimes Tim swears she’s a secret metahuman, able to peer into his heart where she can pick apart the pieces and read them like hieroglyphics. Dig through every secret emotion he has and bring it to the forefront.    
  
“Not your fault,” she says. “None of it.”   
  
Tim scoffs. “You don’t have to make me feel better.”   
  
“Not lying. Dick...knows. Always knows what he’s doing.”   
  
“Then he should have known that what he did was  _ stupid.”  _   
  
Tim has gone over it in his head a million times. Dick had  _ no reason  _ for doing what he did—not a single one. Because unlike Tim, Dick is  _ important _ . To the family, the Titans, to practically the entire superhero community—hell, to the entire  _ universe.  _ A world without Dick Grayson in it would not be one worth keeping, and Dick knows that. He should know that.    
  
Tim, though? He’s different. From the beginning, Tim always knew that he was expendable in the long run, and he was okay with that. After all, that’s his job, right? To be a temporary replacement for what Bruce couldn’t lose but did. Tim’s not a real part of this family—not in the way that Dick is.    
  
“If he didn’t, it would be you,” Cass says. “You’d be...hurt. Dead.”   
  
“So? I might have been fine. And even if I wasn’t, I’m not worth dying for. Dick should know that.”   
  
Cass shakes her head, downing the rest of her hot chocolate like it personally wronged her. “Stupid.”   
  
“Excuse me?”   
  
“You. Stupid.” She’s glaring now, as if Tim truly is the dumbest creature to walk the earth. “Your life...not less. He knows. I know. You don’t.”   
  
“She’s right.” Tim’s heart jumps halfway out of his chest at the new voice. When he looks at the bed, he finds Dick’s eyes open and watching them. He looks exhausted behind the haze of painkillers, but he’s awake. “You  _ are  _ stupid.”   
  
Tim sits up, clutching Dick’s arm. “Dick—”   
  
“Don’t talk about yourself like your life is worth less than mine” he says, cutting Tim off. His eyes are narrowed, determined.  _ “No  _ life is worth less than another, and definitely not yours.”   
  
“That’s not what I meant.”   
  
“Then what  _ did _ you mean?” Even having only recently woken up from life-saving surgery, Dick is alert and pissed. Tim doesn’t know how to explain that he shouldn’t be so upset at Tim thinking himself expendable. Tim knows that Dick cares about him, but shouldn’t he be better prepared for this, after Jason? Tim is an idiot. He should have made it clearer from the start.   
  
Tim looks at Cass, silently pleading for her to help him out of this corner. Dick catches the look and says, “Cass, would you mind giving us a sec?”   
  
She nods and stands, patting Dick’s leg before she leaves. Tim envies her, knowing he’s in for a Conversation.   
  
“In case you were wondering, it’s not fun waking up to hear my kid brother talking about how he’s not worth saving.”   
  
“I didn’t say that.”   
  
“Sure fucking sounded like it.” Which makes Tim flinch. Dick almost never curses around him. Why is he so angry about this?   
  
“You know I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if you died for me,” Tim says. “And that’s not some—some guilt complex thing. I honestly don’t know if I could carry on knowing that I was responsible for something happening to you.” His throat threatens to lock up just thinking about it.   
  
“Tim, you’re not  _ responsible.  _ You know I’d do anything to protect you, and I don’t regret that for a second.”   
  
“Well, I do. And I won’t apologize for saying it, because I can’t let you keep thinking that you can just sacrifice yourself for me like this. Bludhaven needs Nightwing and Bruce needs you.”   
  
“Bruce needs you too,” Dick says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.    
  
“He can get a new Robin. He’s done it before.”   
  
Dick shakes his head, looking up at the ceiling. “Are you even hearing yourself right now?”   
  
“Think about it, Dick. If I died, who would it really hurt? Steph? Conner? My dad, _ maybe? _ Only a handful of people at most, and they’d all get over it within a year.”   
  
“It would hurt  _ us,  _ Tim,” Dick snaps. _ “I _ would be hurt.”   
  
Tim shrugs despite the guilt panging in his stomach. “You’d get over it. Odds are I’m not going to cause many ripples in the long run, and I made peace with that a long time ago. But Dick Grayson? He  _ matters.  _ The world needs you way more than it needs me.”   
  
Dick’s eyes narrow, blazing with something sharp that Tim can’t identify.  _ “My  _ world needs a Tim Drake. You hear me?  _ I  _ need you. So don’t you  _ dare  _ tell me that I shouldn’t risk my life for yours, because I’d do it again in a heartbeat. Do you understand me?”   
  
Tim swallows. He wants to argue, but his eyes are stinging for some reason and he’s afraid that if he opens his mouth, nothing will come out. So he nods, and only then does Dick relax. “Good.”   
  
“I’m sorry,” Tim says quietly.   
  
Dick lifts his hand to the back of Tim’s neck, running his fingers through the messy hair there. Tim leans into it. “No, I’m sorry. Just...don’t talk like that anymore, alright? I don’t like the thought of losing you.”    
  
And that...that stirs something deep in Tim’s chest, flooding it with sunlight. “I don’t want to lose you, either.”   
  
That makes the corners of Dick’s mouth turn up. Then his eyes cast down, checking Tim over. “You’re okay, right?”   
  
Oh, yeah. Tim forgot about the dried blood all over his uniform. He must make a grisly sight. “I’m fine.”   
  
“Good.” Dick settles back against the pillows. “I’d hate to find out that my awesome, heroic sacrifice was for nothing.”

**Author's Note:**

> [Feel free to mosey on down to my Tumblr!](http://sohotthateveryonedied.tumblr.com/)


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